Yes Ma’am, Manners Do Matter
I was sitting with my wife in a nice restaurant some time back. I consider a restaurant that uses cloth napkins a nice place. We were enjoying each-other’s company and a nice meal. The meal was ruined by the loud “honking” of grown man blowing his nose in one of those cloth napkins. My thoughts suddenly turned away from the nice meal and wonderful conversation. The conversation turned to how people seem to have, as my mother would say, “lost their manners.” I was taught that if you must blow your nose to excuse yourself and go the rest room. I have been told that I am being too sensitive, but it appears to me that manners are quickly becoming a thing of the past.
I know that I am as Southern as grits and sweet iced tea, but growing up in Southeastern North Carolina it was correct to say, “Yes ma’am” and “No ma’am.” It is also advised to use please and thank you. The punishment for not using common courtesy, while talking to adults, would have surely included a trip to the switch bush and walking with a serious limp. We also use words like y’all, used in the plural and never the singular. The phrase fixin’ to is used to say, “I am about to…” It was acceptable to use such words and phrases around home, but we were also taught to use correct grammar. Many people from other regions of the United States
My family was serious about manners, and there were different sets of manners for each situation. It was important to know how to talk to people and to get your point across in a polite way. Knowing how to act around other people was also important. The set of rules varied with each situation. Table manners were especially important in public places or when we had company over. Mom made us practice table manners even if we didn’t have company. “No need to act like a bunch of heathens, just because we don’t have company,” Mom would say. Most table manners were basic courtesy. The rule about gross noises at the table rule is a good example of basic courtesy. The no gross noise rule should be self-explanatory. It was also considered extremely rude to talk with food in your mouth or smack your food. Knowing which fork to use or what to do with each glass has never been the most important part of table manners, but treating each other with respect is the main focus.
I am teaching my son the importance of using manners when talking to adults. This translates later in life to showing respect to authority figures and those who are older than we are. I still say, “Yes sir” to my father, unlike a friend who is from north of the Mason Dixon line who feels that it is too formal to call her mom Ma’am or her dad Sir. I feel that this shows them I respect and love them.
My dad told me long ago, “A little courtesy will take you far in life.” An old saying I have often quoted is, “You can catch more flies with sugar than vinegar.” The point I am trying to make is we are letting our children and grandchildren down, if we don’t teach them manners. They will need manners later in life when applying for a job or trying to find a mate. The best way to teach manners is to set the example and use them ourselves.
amen!
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