Joe Mancos: May 10, 2012
I have learned in the past several years that you are a student your whole life. Some of this they teach you when you decide to become an educator or trainer. They want you to learn how others learn so you can share what little bit you have learned throughout your education, life and career. (That’s a lot of Learning)
You start at birth learning the basics of life, how to eat, talk, walk and … well, when and where you should “do your business.” After the basics come the hard part, manners and respect and right from wrong. Then we go to school to learn the more formal education that society has developed and decided we will need in our adult life, reading, writing, grammar (reading this you will know I need to improve on this one) and mathematics. High school and college throw in some history, and how the world works and how to get along with and understand each other on a global scale. (It seems like we all need to look into that one some more huh?) Then we go to work and learn our jobs and how to do them well. This is the basis in which we all have been educated, or is it?
All of what I have written above is the truth or how I have seen the truth for the past 40 years. But there is more to the story, I have learned much more from many more people that the dedicated teachers professors and trainers throughout the years. I have been thinking a great deal lately, maybe it has been due to the fact that that I am turning 40 this year, or maybe the fact that we have lost two close family members this year. The thoughts that have been chasing each other around in my head have been about where I learned the most important things in life, from my family.
Each and every family member that I grew up near has had something to do with who I am today. (Just so you know who to blame…) I don’t want to leave anyone out and I don’t want to “slight” anyone or make it look like I love one family member more than others so this is not going to be in any particular order and the things that I list are not going to be the only things I have ever learned from any family member. What is written is just what comes to mind as I sit down to write this.
My Grandmother on my Mom’s side we called Na Na Bessie. This woman taught me that there is one God and our lives should be lived to please him. One thing you have to understand is that my whole family is “God fear’n born again, every Sunday church go’in Southern Baptist” Na Na made sure we all came to know the God she served faithfully until she died. We may not have always followed the path we should have, but she made sure we knew the way. NaNa Bessie went to be with “her Jesus” a couple of months ago and she is missed more than she would ever know. I could write pages on this woman and how she helped raise and educate whole clan and not just a small family. I find this quite impressive for a woman that had very little formal education. Her education came from the Bible, church, a life and hard work and the love of others. She was also the first other than my dad to take me fishing; I think she is one of the many family members that helped me grow to love fishing. “Fishing is a good way to teach a boy patience”
My Grandmother on my Dad’s side we called Na Na Elise. I also learned many things from her but one of the things I remember the most are the value of things. She grew up like most of the people of that era with nothing. She was raised in the mountains of West Virginia during the great depression and knew nothing in life but hard work and how to make due with what she had. She could make a fine meal in no time out of a few things she would find in her freezer and out of a cabinet full of rows and rows of Mason jars she had “canned”. All of which came from her garden or from fruit trees in her yard. She was also a nurse in the Women’s Army Corps during the second World War and in later years when she found out I was going to be a Paramedic, she shared with me how she dealt with what she did and the things she saw during that period of her life. This has helped me more than she would ever know. I have heard family members speak of her and the life she lived and call her "a tough ol bird." (kind of a rough complement here in the South), to that I reply "and then some."
Before both grandmothers passed I am grateful that I took the time to go to them and had each of them teach me how to cook homemade southern biscuits among other things.
My “Pa Pa” Jessie died a couple of days before my second birthday so I didn’t have time to learn much from him but my Mom tells me it is uncanny how much like him I am, not only in looks but my outlook on things and right down to some of my mannerisms and wit. I guess the waters run deep in my family.
My “Pa Pa” Durham was my Dad’s step dad. I remember as a small boy sitting out at the Phillips 66 service station he ran in a small town here in NC and listening to the “old men” sitting around drinking Cokes out of the “little bottles” and telling stories. What I remember most about that is you can lean a lot more from listening to people who have been there and done that than by talking.
Uncle Robert and Aunt Rosa taught me what hard work really is. They owned and operated a small tobacco farm in Bladen County NC. From the time I could reach the steering wheel on the old tractor until I moved away from home, I worked every summer. Some of the money I could keep and spend, but the rest had to go to help buy school clothes for the fall. If you have ever worked in tobacco in the hot NC sun in an old “stick barn” you know exactly what I am talking about. Believe me I think about the value of a dollar every summer in the latter part of July and August when the “dog days” set in. I have also been told I get some of my wit and trend to be a bit sarcastic from these two characters. Aunt Rosa is known to speak her mind and to stand up for herself and anyone else who needed standing up for with the sweet tenacity of a bull dog. Uncle Rob was known to not only be a big man with a big laugh but a big heart. He was also known for his skill as a fisherman and growing the biggest okra and the sweetest watermelons in our little corner of the south. Sadly we lost uncle Rob just yesterday as I write this. I have even written in the past couple of days in a micro blog in social media that “maybe Uncle Rob and Na Na Bessie will show me the good fishing holes when I get to heaven.”
Aunt Janie and Uncle Don also taught me the value of work. One of the things Uncle Don one of my Dad’s half brothers told me that sticks with me until this day is, “If you take a man’s money, you do what he pays you to do. You don’t like the job, find another one, but as long as he is paying you, you work for him.” He had retired from the USAF and later in life I learned he was the main reason Dad’s family moved to NC after the death of his Father, my namesake. He worked almost every day of his life that I can remember. Even after he retired, he was always found doing something. Uncle Don is one of the family members that also taught me a love of the outdoors though deer hunting, guns, shooting and just a love of being outside.
He also shared with me the joy of reading fiction. He reads mostly Louis La’Mour westerns and I have also read them time and again.
Aunt Janie is known as one of the best cooks and bakers in the county and everyone wants her to do their wedding cake. She taught me that doing things right beats doing them fast any day. I remember how she treated everyone’s kids like they where her own and everyone was always welcome to come and stay anytime. Believe me, I took advantage of that as often as I could.
Aunt Gayle and Uncle Steve taught me that love can endure many hardships and that love and family win when your hearts in the right place. You see they were married and for reasons that are of a private family nature (in other words none of your business lol) they divorced and several years later, picked up where they left off and married again with their grown children and whole family around them supporting them. Aunt Gayle has often been the calming voice of the whole family and seems to be everywhere for everyone. I still have to learn how she does that.
Uncle David and Uncle George where not in the little southern town where 90% of my family was when I was growing up. They both are both retired military and lived elsewhere in the country/world, but the main thing I learned from both of them is that there is much more to this world than just what you see around you. Learn to branch out and learn from others. Learn other ways of doing things, other cultures, foods and see how others do things. You learn more when you get out of your comfort zone and branch out. They both impressed upon me the importance of an open mind and a formal education. They are probably where I get my urges to ramble and wonder around. Those of you that really know me, know I tend to have somewhat of a Gypsy Soul and like to keep my wheels moving when I can, but I do know my way home.
My Uncle Jessie is my Mom’s only brother. He has been a Soldier, Mechanic, and Cop, Fire Chief and was one of the early members of the local volunteer Rescue Squad back home. This Squad was the first form of EMS in that area and it was also my first taste of EMS. That little town gave me my first taste of Fire, Rescue and EMS and I have spent more than the last 20 years answering the call to help others at home and abroad. (See where I am going with this? I had to learn this stuff somewhere) Uncle Jessie has been a great friend and a voice of reason when I would listen to no one else, and has been my sounding board when I had to talk about things I could tell no one else. (There are some things you can only tell people who have “been there”) I also have learned more about working on cars and old hot rod Jeeps from him than anyone else. Johnna, Jessie’s wife, is one of those southern ladies that will help anyone with anything that is within her power. We should all learn form her.
I have not even mentioned my many cousins that I love dearly but hey I’m not writing a book here, just a collection of thoughts that no one is going to read anyway. But what about your parents and your sister, you may ask. Just hold on I was getting to that. My sister Tami has taught me that it is OK to laugh at myself and not to take myself so seriously and for that I thank her. I could write volumes about what my parents mean to me and what they have taught me but all of us have parents and know how important they are to us. I think my parents taught me most every thing I needed to know about how to become a success in this world. I could also go on and about how my Mom taught me how to be independent and self sufficient, and how my Dad taught me a love of hunting and fishing and the outdoors and how to be a strong and God fearing man, but I think the most important thing they did was give me a good example of how to be a good parent myself. I only hope I live up to it and that they are proud of me.
I would be remiss not to mention my lovely wife and son, but what I have learned from them would fill another blog post or novel, so let's just leave this with the family of my childhood and early adult life.
I guess this whole rambling mess has been about how proud of my true education I am. This education has made me who I am and taught me a life of service to others is one well lived because you truly do “get what you give.” None of the formal education and training or certifications I have earned in my academic life has prepared me for life like the education from my family. I am very proud of how I was raised and where I come from.
